All posts by : kishore

If you are like most people, you will find that your thoughts usually veer to the negative as if pessimism was the default setting of the mind. Isn’t it so easy for the mind to switch from a positive happy state to one of anxiety, worry and fear? And then like an unwanted guest who just won’t go away, the negative thoughts stay stuck in your head, going round and round in circles until you make a conscious effort to get rid of them.

The average person is said to have about 60,000-70,000 thoughts per day, and over 90 per cent of these thoughts are the same, repeated day after day.

So what can we do to break this spiral of negativity? The answer is to train the mind to think positively; so just like you would adopt a new way of doing something to replace an old habit, similarly you have to replace negative thinking with positive thoughts. And when it comes to learning anything new, even a new way of thinking, you have to start with small steps and build up gradually over time.

The starting point is self awareness. You need to be aware of your thoughts before you can change them. For this, you have to tune in to what you are thinking, to catch yourself thinking anxious, fearful thoughts. Keeping a journal and writing down the thoughts you want to change is a useful exercise which helps you clarify your thinking. The next step would be to replace the negative thought with a positive one, and then you need to firmly repeat it to yourself over and over again until you start believing it.

It’s undoubtedly a long and tedious process but if you stick with it, you will notice your pessimistic perspective being replaced by a new sense of optimism. And eventually you will feel greater happiness and peace of mind. As A. Parthasarathy says in the ‘The Eternities: Vedanta Treatise’: “Thinking is skilled work, you need to learn and practice it.”

Spiritual leader Shri Shri Ravi Shankar, the founder of the Art of Living Foundation, says:

Watch your thoughts, they become words
Watch your words, they become actions
Watch your actions, they become habits
Watch your habits, they become character
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny

So do take the time and make the effort to change your negative thoughts; this single action will change your life!

It’s so easy to be critical and judgmental not only of others but of ourselves too. Instead of being our own best friends, many of us are our own worst critics, constantly berating ourselves for saying or doing the wrong thing, performing below par, or not being as successful as our next door neighbour.

When you look at yourselves in the mirror, do you see a perfect, dearly loved face or a flawed one? Do you see your loving eyes and warm smile or your misshapen nose and uneven skin tone? Unfortunately, for most of us, the mirror reveals only our blemishes and flaws, the features that we are convinced make us look unsightly to the rest of the world. In fact we are so used to seeing only our negative qualities that we simply can’t see the good in ourselves even though others can. And even if we do see that flawless skin or thick eyelashes, our minds are unable to hold on to the pleasant thought for long, and inevitably we descend into the spiral of negative thinking once again.

When our thinking is set to negative mode, it is important to make a conscious effort to focus on the positive in ourselves, even if it is only for a few minutes every day. The best time to do this is in the morning before you set out for the day. Louise Hay, best-selling author and motivational speaker, advocates looking at yourself in the mirror every morning and telling yourself “I love you” repeatedly to reaffirm your love for yourself. Once you begin to feel positive feelings flow through you at the sight of yourself in the mirror, make an effort to notice all those qualities that you like in yourself, aspects of your face and body that make you feel good and bring forth a smile. Then during the rest of the day, whenever you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, remind yourself of these positive qualities and of how much you love yourself.

Self-love is the foundation of a healthy self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. When you love yourself, you give more love to others and you also attract more love from others into your life. So begin a love affair with yourself today by looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself just how much you mean to yourself.

To be happy and achieve your personal and professional goals, you need to love yourself and accept who you are with all your strengths and weaknesses. You need to accept yourself the way you did when you were a child, before your ego developed and you began comparing and competing with other people, convinced that being yourself wasn’t good enough.

Why isn’t being you good enough? Who else can you be if you aren’t yourself? And can you be anyone else even if you wanted to?

Since you obviously can’t be anyone else but yourself, why not be happy with who you are and live your life to the fullest? Why not celebrate your uniqueness, make the most of all those remarkable qualities that have come together to make you who you are, and strive to be the best version of yourself? When you accept yourself the way you are, the good as well as the not-so-good, you are:

With self-love and self-acceptance, you don’t look to others to decide how you should live your life, but turn inwards and listen to your inner voice. You pursue your own dreams and desires rather than the dreams and desires of others, and you achieve your own unique purpose.

Instead of comparing and competing with others, you compare and compete with your own self. You learn from your mistakes and try to get better and better so that you can maximize your potential and reach the summit of your own life.

So why not be yourself? As Oscar Wilde said so wisely: “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”

To be happy and achieve your personal and professional goals, you need to love yourself and accept who you are with all your strengths and weaknesses. You need to accept yourself unquestioningly the way you did when you were a child, before your ego developed and you began comparing and competing with other people, convinced that being yourself wasn’t good enough.

Why isn’t being you good enough? Who else can you be if you aren’t yourself? And can you be anyone else even if you wanted to?

Since you obviously can’t be anyone else but yourself, why not be happy with who you are and live your life to the fullest? Why not celebrate your uniqueness, make the most of all those remarkable qualities that have come together to make you who you are, and strive to be the best version of yourself?When you accept yourself the way you are, the good as well as the not-so-good, you are:

• Comfortable in your own skin and feel worthy rather than less than or more than others.
• Liberated from the opinions and actions of others.
• Not fearful of being judged or rejected

With self-love and self-acceptance, you don’t look to others to decide how you should live your life, but turn inwards and listen to your inner voice. You pursue your own dreams and desires rather than the dreams and desires of others, and you achieve your own unique purpose.

Instead of comparing and competing with others, you compare and compete with your own self. You learn from your mistakes and try to get better and better so that you can maximize your potential and reach the summit of your own life.

So why not be yourself? As Oscar Wilde said so wisely: “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”