When it comes to interpersonal relationships, whether they involve a friend, a partner or a family member, we may find ourselves having expectations which are not met. Or conversely, we may not be able to live up to the expectations of others. These unmet expectations may cause us minor disappointment which can be easily shrugged off, or they could go deeper and cause emotional wounds which could cause irrevocable damage to the relationship.

Expectations are an inevitable part of human relationships, based as they are on each person’s unique way of thinking, his/her belief and value systems, and socialisation. What one person may think is appropriate behaviour in a particular situation, may not be considered appropriate by another person. Also, what one person thinks should be done in a particular situation, may not even occur to another person even though they may have the best intentions. Unless two people have the exact same way of thinking, or a deep understanding of each other, they will find themselves dealing with unmet expectations sooner or later.

Since we have no real control over another person, our best course of action would be to make a conscious effort to scale down our expectations of others. This way, we will avoid hurt and disappointment, and enhance the joy element in our lives.

Instead, we could focus on what we can control, which is ourselves, and try to meet our own expectations of ourselves. If we aim to live our best lives, constantly learning and growing, doing better than what we did yesterday, a week ago, or a year ago, won’t we be happier and more fulfilled? And if we are happier, peaceful and more fulfilled, some of our positive energy may rub off on the people in our lives, and there will be greater joy all around. Certainly, a win-win situation for all concerned.