The death of a loved one is one of life’s toughest challenges. It can take weeks, months and even years to come to terms with the loss of a spouse/partner, parent, sibling or child. Often, the death of a loved one is life transformational and can throw your present and future into turmoil.

You are overcome with grief which comes in different forms and encompasses a range of feelings – you can feel shock, numbness, sadness, denial, despair, anxiety, anger, guilt, loneliness, depression, helplessness, disbelief, confusion, and difficulty concentrating. You can even experience physical sensations such as tightness or heaviness in the chest or throat, nausea or an upset stomach, restlessness, dizziness, headaches, physical numbness, muscle weakness or muscle tension, fatigue, and insomnia. A grieving person may also become irritable or aggressive. The loss of a loved one may also cause you to question your faith and spiritual beliefs.

Grief can come in waves and cycles with periods of intense and painful feelings followed by periods of positive emotions. You may feel happy one day and be overcome with intense sadness the very next day. Significant dates, such as festivals, birthdays, anniversaries, etc, can be particularly challenging emotionally. Factors that may affect the grieving process include:

• The way the person died – was it a sudden death or was the person ill for a long time
• Was the death due to old age or was it an untimely death
• Whether you have a support network of friends and family or you are alone
• What are the customs in your culture and society

With the ebbs and flows of grief, your life is unlikely to ever be the same again!

However, research suggests that there is no ‘normal’ period to recover from loss and the process of grief is personal. According to the American Psychological Association, “Most people can recover from loss on their own through the passage of time if they have social support and healthy habits” and “If your relationship with the deceased was difficult, this will also add another dimension to the grieving process. It may take some time and thought before you are able to look back on the relationship and adjust to the loss.”

Even though you may be engulfed by waves of grief and it feels like the pain will never end, the good news is that the intensity of your grief is likely to lessen over time and you will eventually adjust to life without the loved one you have lost.