Living in the Present Moment
Whether it is spiritual teachers or motivational speakers, we are constantly being urged to live in the present moment, to tear our minds away from the past and the future into being in the now, if we want to be happy and have peace of mind. So significant is present moment thinking that Eckhart Tolle, a spiritual teacher and best-selling author, has devoted an entire book, ‘The Power of Now’, to this subject.
In his ‘New York Times’ bestselling book Tolle says, “The more you are able to honour and accept the Now, the more you are free of pain, of suffering and of the egoic mind.” He explains that, “What you think of as the past is a memory trace…the future is imagined…past and present have no reality of their own.”
The Importance of Gratitude
One of the best ways to shift your thinking from the positive to the negative is by feeling grateful. When you do this, you are likely to discover that you have countless blessings in your life—these could be your loving family and friends, your work, your good health, your talents or simply the remarkable natural beauty around you—which hitherto you may not have been aware of, or you may have simply taken them for granted.
An effective way to practice gratitude is to start a gratitude journal. You can take a notebook or a diary, make it look attractive with colourful paper, ribbons or cover illustrations, and set a daily or weekly.
Do You Know How to Have Fun?
This question is a no-brainer you might say but there are countless people out there who are so caught up in the pressures of their daily life that they seem to have forgotten how to have fun.
Fun is an important component of adult life, just like it is for children and adolescents.
‘Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do!’
This is the title of a ‘New York Times’ bestselling book that was written back in the 1980s, but its lessons hold true even today.
“Nobody is free from problems. A problem-free life is an illusion—a mirage in the desert. It is a dangerously deceptive perception which can mislead, blind and distract. To pursue a problem-free life is to run after an elusive fantasy; it is a waste of mental and physical energies,” writes the American author Robert H. Schuller who is a televangelist, pastor and motivational speaker.
Beware of Other People’s ‘Garbage’!
Have you ever been an innocent victim of another person’s ill temper? Maybe you were out shopping and the cashier at the supermarket snapped at you for no reason, or your colleague may have flared up during a routine meeting at the office, or even worse, you may be out driving and another driver comes close to hitting your car, and gestures angrily at you, all because you were slow to move when the traffic light turned green.
These are all examples of other people dumping their ‘garbage’ on you.
Is Your Thinking Stuck in the Past?
The way we think determines our actions and ultimately the life we create for ourselves. Unfortunately for us, a lot of our thinking is based on beliefs and ideas that we may have developed at an earlier stage of our lives; and while we are now older, our thinking may be completely out of tune with our current reality and still stuck in the past.
With technology rapidly transforming the world we live in, it has become imperative for us to constantly review the beliefs we hold and update them regularly.
Celebrate Your Individuality!
Many of us look to see what the people around us are doing before we set down our personal goals, plan for the future or just live from day to day. This attitude might be appropriate for children, but as adults do we need to constantly look to others to show us the way?
We are unique individuals and we need to celebrate our individuality, rather than lose ourselves in the herd that is the society we belong to. Og Mandino expresses this idea brilliantly in his book “The Greatest Miracle in the World”.
Stop Feeling Guilty — You Couldn’t Do Better Because You Didn’t Know Better
A significant part of the emotional baggage that we all carry around with us is related to guilt. Guilt due to an error of judgement, guilt from saying or doing the wrong thing, guilt because of putting ourselves first, guilt from having more than others, guilt from hurting someone’s feelings, the list goes on and on.
The dictionary defines guilt as a “feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.” For most of us who are holding on to feelings of guilt…
We Were Never Meant To Be Perfect!
Below is an inspirational message from the Daily Om website (www.dailyom.com) which I wanted to share. It reminds us that we would be so much happier and more peaceful if we just gave up the pursuit of perfection because ultimately we are here to learn, and if we were perfect, we would know it all so what learning would there be. The last line says it all: “Imperfection is inherent to being human; by embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself”.
It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up.
Letting Go of Expectations
When it comes to interpersonal relationships, whether they involve a friend, a partner or a family member, we may find ourselves having expectations which are not met. Or conversely, we may not be able to live up to the expectations of others. These unmet expectations may cause us minor disappointment which can be easily shrugged off, or they could go deeper and cause emotional wounds which could cause irrevocable damage to the relationship.
Expectations are an inevitable part of human relationships, based as they are on each person’s unique way of thinking, his/her belief and value systems, and socialisation.
Why Compare? You Don’t Need to Be Like Anyone Else
Why do we constantly compare ourselves with the people around us? It’s such a diminishing habit because it usually leaves us feeling bad about ourselves, ‘less than’ the person we are comparing with and more insecure than ever. And frankly is it even necessary to compare? Is life a race where it is a requirement to compare running speeds and best timings? Are we in a perpetual competition or contest, every day of our lives, where we feel we have to outdo everyone else around us?
Besides, what do we get out of beating others? A false sense of superiority that is short-lived at best.
Managing Your Anger
Many of us struggle with anger issues, finding it difficult to be patient and tolerant in the face of extreme provocation, whether it is from a disobedient child, an uncooperative colleague or a rude salesman. If you have a short fuse, you probably find yourself losing your temper frequently, raising your voice and getting aggressive, which only serves to worsen the situation and enhances the stress and negativity in your life.
Anger can also prevent you from thinking creatively, finding solutions and taking effective action. Ultimately, whenever you get angry, the person you harm the most is yourself.
Distorted Thinking
We know our thoughts control our actions and our behaviour, and therefore they control and create our lives. But how many of us are really in control of our thoughts, adept at keeping at bay the runaway train that is our mind, which before we know it, has sped off into an anxiety attack or is deeply immersed in fear and worry, and worst-case scenario thinking?
It is so easy for us to twist the reality around and become victims of what psychologists call distorted thinking, where we may imagine things which are not there, and get worked up and anxious about situations which are just not real.
Scarcity vs Abundance Mentality
Though we live in an abundant world, many of us are deeply immersed in a scarcity mentality, believing the pie is small and therefore there is not enough to go around. This belief affects every aspect of our lives, whether it is with regard to wealth, opportunities, status, talents, gifts, or success and achievements of any kind. People with a scarcity mentality believe there can be only one winner, only one person in the number one spot, to be good you have to be the best, and if someone else wins, they lose.
These people, with a low sense of self worth, are constantly comparing themselves with others and their self worth comes from doing better than others, from beating others who they look upon as their rivals, their opponents.
Breaking the Spiral of Negativity
If you are like most people, you will find that your thoughts usually veer to the negative as if pessimism was the default setting of the mind. Isn’t it so easy for the mind to switch from a positive happy state to one of anxiety, worry and fear? And then like an unwanted guest who just won’t go away, the negative thoughts stay stuck in your head, going round and round in circles until you make a conscious effort to get rid of them.
The average person is said to have about 60,000-70,000 thoughts per day, and over 90 per cent of these thoughts are the same, repeated day after day.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…!
It’s so easy to be critical and judgmental not only of others but of ourselves too. Instead of being our own best friends, many of us are our own worst critics, constantly berating ourselves for saying or doing the wrong thing, performing below par, or not being as successful as our next door neighbour.
When you look at yourselves in the mirror, do you see a perfect, dearly loved face or a flawed one? Do you see your loving eyes and warm smile or your misshapen nose and uneven skin tone? Unfortunately, for most of us, the mirror reveals only our blemishes and flaws, the features that we are convinced make us look unsightly to the rest of the world.
As children we are authentic beings, content to be ourselves, accepting of our gifts and talents, our flaws and our failures, not even questioning our identity or considering that we could be anyone but ourselves. Unfortunately, this innocent way of looking at ourselves, invariably changes as we get older and become externally focused, when we develop an ego which gives rise to the ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ mentality and inevitably leads to an insatiable desire to be better than everyone else, so that we can feel superior.
Somewhere along the way, we forget who we really are, we lose our authentic self in our social self, and we remain out of touch with our inner core, sadly unaware of what makes us happy and what we really want for ourselves.
Be yourself and live your life to the fullest!
Always Be True to Yourself
To be happy and achieve your personal and professional goals, you need to love yourself and accept who you are with all your strengths and weaknesses. You need to accept yourself the way you did when you were a child, before your ego developed and you began comparing and competing with other people, convinced that being yourself wasn’t good enough.
How to Stop Being a Perfectionist
If you have very high standards for yourself and others, and find that these standards are rarely met, you could be ‘suffering’ from perfectionism.
Perfectionists cannot tolerate mistakes and typically want whatever they do to be flawless. They have a highly active inner critic who is constantly berating them for making mistakes, even the smallest one.
How to Stop Being a Perfectionist
If you have very high standards for yourself and others, and find that these standards are rarely met, you could be ‘suffering’ from perfectionism. Perfectionists
Do You Know How to Have Fun?
This question is a no-brainer you might say but there are countless people out there who are so caught up in the pressures of their
‘Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do!’
This is the title of a ‘New York Times’ bestselling book that was written back in the 1980s, but its lessons hold true even today.
Beware of Other People’s ‘Garbage’!
Have you ever been an innocent victim of another person’s ill temper? Maybe you were out shopping and the cashier at the supermarket snapped at
Is Your Thinking Stuck in the Past?
The way we think determines our actions and ultimately the life we create for ourselves. Unfortunately for us, a lot of our thinking is based
Celebrate Your Individuality!
Many of us look to see what the people around us are doing before we set down our personal goals, plan for the future or
Stop Feeling Guilty — You Couldn’t Do Better
Because You Didn’t Know Better
A significant part of the emotional baggage that we all carry around with us is related to guilt. Guilt due to an error of judgement,
We Were Never Meant To Be Perfect!
Below is an inspirational message from the Daily Om website (www.dailyom.com) which I wanted to share. It reminds us that we would be so much
Letting Go of Expectations
When it comes to interpersonal relationships, whether they involve a friend, a partner or a family member, we may find ourselves having expectations which are
Why Compare? You Don’t Need to Be Like Anyone Else
Why do we constantly compare ourselves with the people around us? It’s such a diminishing habit because it usually leaves us feeling bad about ourselves,
Managing Your Anger
Many of us struggle with anger issues, finding it difficult to be patient and tolerant in the face of extreme provocation, whether it is from
Distorted Thinking
We know our thoughts control our actions and our behaviour, and therefore they control and create our lives. But how many of us are really
Scarcity vs Abundance Mentality
Though we live in an abundant world, many of us are deeply immersed in a scarcity mentality, believing the pie is small and therefore there
Living in the Present Moment
Whether it is spiritual teachers or motivational speakers, we are constantly being urged to live in the present moment, to tear our minds away from
Breaking the Spiral of Negativity
If you are like most people, you will find that your thoughts usually veer to the negative as if pessimism was the default setting of
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…!
It’s so easy to be critical and judgmental not only of others but of ourselves too. Instead of being our own best friends, many of
Always Be True to Yourself
To be happy and achieve your personal and professional goals, you need to love yourself and accept who you are with all your strengths and
Be yourself and live your life to the fullest!
To be happy and achieve your personal and professional goals, you need to love yourself and accept who you are with all your strengths and